I heard this story and I hope I can repeat it properly.
Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength. Take for example, the story of one 10-year old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a car accident.
The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. He was doing well, but he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training, the master had taught him only one move.
“Sensei’” the boy finally said, “Shouldn’t I be learning more moves?”
“This is the only move you’ll ever need to know,” the sensei replied. Not quite understanding but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.
Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches with his one move. The championship match proved to be more difficult, because his opponent was bigger and more experienced.
For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.
“No,” the sensei insisted. “Let him continue.”
Soon after the match resumed, his opponent dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament.
On the way home, the boy asked what was really on his mind.
“Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”
“You won for two reasons,” the sensei answered. “First, you mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grip your left arm.”
The boy’s biggest weakness had become his greatest strength.
Bulking Up
A little training each day helps you pump up your game at the bargaining table.Can dealmakers improve their negotiating chops through daily practice?
Listen. Any decent book on communication skills will tell you how truly difficult it is to be a good listener. It doesn’t come naturally. Pick somebody each day to practice on. Don’t interrupt; don’t judge; don’t go away on a mental holiday. You will almost always pick up great business intelligence when you really listen.
Learn to be a Good Conversationalist. Ask open-ended questions. The ones that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. Hint: They begin with how, why, what, who, where or when. This is how to gauge your opponent’s vulnerabilities and ferret out their underlying interests.
Be Obnoxious to Someone. Find someone annoying to practice on. Being petulant and irascible has its time and place at the bargaining table. You won’t use this tool often, but it’s nice to have it on your belt. And this kind of role playing experience will give you great perspective when you invariably find yourself on the receiving end.
Continue Your Education. There are lots of great books on negotiation. Read one. No matter hoe experienced you are, you’ll probably learn a technique or two that’s either new or something you haven’t used in awhile. Find a situation to practice it. This is how to expand your repertoire.
Flinch and Make a Counteroffer. Flinch and make a counteroffer on purpose. Reaction time can be critical. So hone those haggling reflexes till they become second nature.Agree With Everything Someone Says.
Disagree with Everything Someone Says. How does it feel? What makes you edgy? How is the other person reacting? At what point are they getting torqued? Negotiation is give and take, push and pull. Being able to sense your own thermometer as well as the other guy’s is an advantage.
Make An Outrageous Demand. Sometimes dealmakers need to be aggressive and audacious. They need to move beyond their comfort zones and test the limits. Bluff. Bluff big time. Ask for the moon and the stars.
When a famous violinist was hailed as an overnight sensation, he said, “I practiced for 20 years, and now they call me a genius.” Do your daily deal making exercises, and someday, you too, will play your opponent like a Stradivarius.
Listen. Any decent book on communication skills will tell you how truly difficult it is to be a good listener. It doesn’t come naturally. Pick somebody each day to practice on. Don’t interrupt; don’t judge; don’t go away on a mental holiday. You will almost always pick up great business intelligence when you really listen.
Learn to be a Good Conversationalist. Ask open-ended questions. The ones that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. Hint: They begin with how, why, what, who, where or when. This is how to gauge your opponent’s vulnerabilities and ferret out their underlying interests.
Be Obnoxious to Someone. Find someone annoying to practice on. Being petulant and irascible has its time and place at the bargaining table. You won’t use this tool often, but it’s nice to have it on your belt. And this kind of role playing experience will give you great perspective when you invariably find yourself on the receiving end.
Continue Your Education. There are lots of great books on negotiation. Read one. No matter hoe experienced you are, you’ll probably learn a technique or two that’s either new or something you haven’t used in awhile. Find a situation to practice it. This is how to expand your repertoire.
Flinch and Make a Counteroffer. Flinch and make a counteroffer on purpose. Reaction time can be critical. So hone those haggling reflexes till they become second nature.Agree With Everything Someone Says.
Disagree with Everything Someone Says. How does it feel? What makes you edgy? How is the other person reacting? At what point are they getting torqued? Negotiation is give and take, push and pull. Being able to sense your own thermometer as well as the other guy’s is an advantage.
Make An Outrageous Demand. Sometimes dealmakers need to be aggressive and audacious. They need to move beyond their comfort zones and test the limits. Bluff. Bluff big time. Ask for the moon and the stars.
When a famous violinist was hailed as an overnight sensation, he said, “I practiced for 20 years, and now they call me a genius.” Do your daily deal making exercises, and someday, you too, will play your opponent like a Stradivarius.
When You Fail, Don’t Give Up
These people didn’t.
- R.H.Macy failed seven times before his store in New York caught on.
- Novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he published the first of his 564 books.
- Thomas Edison was thrown out of school in the early grades when the teachers decided he could not do the work.
- Harry S. Truman failed as a haberdasher.
- When Bob Dylan performed at a high school talent show, his classmates booed him off the stage.
- W. Clement Stone, successful insurance company executive and founder of Success magazine, was a high school drop out.
The Most Memorable People In The World
Pop quiz (and it doesn’t count if you look up the answers.)
Who were the highest paid CEO’s for the past 3 years?
Who were the last three Heisman trophy winners?
Who were the last three winners of the Miss America pageant?
Who were the last three winners of the Pulitzer Prize for Literature?
Who were the last three recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize?
Who won the last three Academy Awards for Best Actress? Best Actor?
So, ho did you do? You probably left more than a few answers blank. Well, don’t worry, you are not alone. Few people remember yesterday’s news. And that’s what these folks are. Sure, they’re the best and brightest in their fields, the wealthiest, the most attractive, and the most successful. But sooner or later, the applause dies, the beauty fades, the awards tarnish. And wealth? Well, you really can’t take it with you.
Okay, now try this quiz:
Name three teachers who helped you get through school.
Name three friends who helped you through tough times.
Name three people who’ve taught you valuable lessons.
Name three people who’ve made you feel loved and appreciated.
Name three people whose company you enjoy.
Name three personal heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Bet this one was easier. The people who truly make a difference in our lives are rarely the ones with the biggest names, the most money, or the greatest number of accolades.
They are the ones who care!
Who were the highest paid CEO’s for the past 3 years?
Who were the last three Heisman trophy winners?
Who were the last three winners of the Miss America pageant?
Who were the last three winners of the Pulitzer Prize for Literature?
Who were the last three recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize?
Who won the last three Academy Awards for Best Actress? Best Actor?
So, ho did you do? You probably left more than a few answers blank. Well, don’t worry, you are not alone. Few people remember yesterday’s news. And that’s what these folks are. Sure, they’re the best and brightest in their fields, the wealthiest, the most attractive, and the most successful. But sooner or later, the applause dies, the beauty fades, the awards tarnish. And wealth? Well, you really can’t take it with you.
Okay, now try this quiz:
Name three teachers who helped you get through school.
Name three friends who helped you through tough times.
Name three people who’ve taught you valuable lessons.
Name three people who’ve made you feel loved and appreciated.
Name three people whose company you enjoy.
Name three personal heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Bet this one was easier. The people who truly make a difference in our lives are rarely the ones with the biggest names, the most money, or the greatest number of accolades.
They are the ones who care!
It's One of the Great Mysteries of Life
You’re in the shower, lathering up, when Bam! Inspiration strikes. The perfect marketing plan, the solution to your HR woes, or a new and fabulous way to raise money rockets into your brain. The next thing you know, you’re streaking through your house all sudsy, frantically searching for something to write with, lest the idea slip away.
Why is it that the best ideas always seem to arrive in the shower? It’s certainly not a recent phenomenon. In ancient Greece, the great mathematician Archimedes was enjoying a soak in the tub when he figured out a method for determining whether a crown was made of pure gold. He was so excited, legend has it, that he ran through the streets of Athens naked, screaming “Eureka!” (“I have found it”).
So what’s the deal? Is there something magical about the water, the soap, and the stream? Scientists have a few theories. “Creativity requires an attitude that is paradoxical blend of attention and relaxation,” explains Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco based clinical psychologist. As it happens, the shower is a near perfect place to cultivate such an attitude. As we scrub, “our minds revert to a sort of neutral state in which we are receptive to issues or themes that bother us or that are unresolved,” says Steven M. Smith, a cognitive psychologist at Texas A&M. In other words, the mind begins to wander aimlessly, which makes it easier to entertain less than serious thoughts. In most cases, these playful thoughts lead to nothing, and you leave the shower all wet. But on occasion, you’ll hit on something really great.
There’s nothing particularly magical about the shower itself. But it is a place where we perform a relatively mindless and simple activity. This lack of anxiety is what helps kick out good ideas in the shower. It’s similar to what psychologists have discovered in treating sexual dysfunction, says Coleman. “Some of the techniques developed by Masters and Johnson are designed to help the individual shut off that part of the mind that is trying too hard to solve the problem,” he says. “If men or women think too much about their performance, their performance suffers. In other words, the analytical part of the mind can shut down the spontaneous part in the same way that a critical parent can shut down a child’s play.” Free from performance anxiety as you bathe, your mind is free to be creative.
Also, because you’re presumably showering alone, you’re in a personal space, free from negative feedback, quizzical stares, and other distractions. For most people, in fact, the shower is the only place where they are totally alone with their own thoughts.To achieve that relaxed state of mind, it’s important to be removed from the context in which your problem occurs, Smith says. So if your company makes showerheads, shower caps, soap or bubble bath, the shower may not be the same relaxing place that it is for the rest of us. You’ll have to find another place to be private, get relaxed and let your mind wander. Clothing is optional.
Why is it that the best ideas always seem to arrive in the shower? It’s certainly not a recent phenomenon. In ancient Greece, the great mathematician Archimedes was enjoying a soak in the tub when he figured out a method for determining whether a crown was made of pure gold. He was so excited, legend has it, that he ran through the streets of Athens naked, screaming “Eureka!” (“I have found it”).
So what’s the deal? Is there something magical about the water, the soap, and the stream? Scientists have a few theories. “Creativity requires an attitude that is paradoxical blend of attention and relaxation,” explains Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco based clinical psychologist. As it happens, the shower is a near perfect place to cultivate such an attitude. As we scrub, “our minds revert to a sort of neutral state in which we are receptive to issues or themes that bother us or that are unresolved,” says Steven M. Smith, a cognitive psychologist at Texas A&M. In other words, the mind begins to wander aimlessly, which makes it easier to entertain less than serious thoughts. In most cases, these playful thoughts lead to nothing, and you leave the shower all wet. But on occasion, you’ll hit on something really great.
There’s nothing particularly magical about the shower itself. But it is a place where we perform a relatively mindless and simple activity. This lack of anxiety is what helps kick out good ideas in the shower. It’s similar to what psychologists have discovered in treating sexual dysfunction, says Coleman. “Some of the techniques developed by Masters and Johnson are designed to help the individual shut off that part of the mind that is trying too hard to solve the problem,” he says. “If men or women think too much about their performance, their performance suffers. In other words, the analytical part of the mind can shut down the spontaneous part in the same way that a critical parent can shut down a child’s play.” Free from performance anxiety as you bathe, your mind is free to be creative.
Also, because you’re presumably showering alone, you’re in a personal space, free from negative feedback, quizzical stares, and other distractions. For most people, in fact, the shower is the only place where they are totally alone with their own thoughts.To achieve that relaxed state of mind, it’s important to be removed from the context in which your problem occurs, Smith says. So if your company makes showerheads, shower caps, soap or bubble bath, the shower may not be the same relaxing place that it is for the rest of us. You’ll have to find another place to be private, get relaxed and let your mind wander. Clothing is optional.
The Little Difference That Makes The Big Difference
People often ask me, is there any one thing that makes the difference between success, mediocrity and failure. My answer is always the same. The little difference that makes a big difference is ATTITUDE. A Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is essential for success. Without, it you are doomed to an unhappy life of mediocrity at best and at worst failure.
PMA is the right mental attitude for each specific occasion. It is not the naïve belief that if one only looks on the bright side, everything will work out right. PMA is evaluating the situation, and then choosing a course of action that will bring about the desired results. It is the right attitude under the circumstances.
When you have the right mental attitude a Positive Mental Attitude –it will manifest itself in many ways that will help you achieve success personally and professionally. One of the most important, the very little difference that makes the very big difference, is-ENTHUSIASM-a vital ingredient for success-for achieving your goals-doing something that should be done-or for influencing or persuading groups of individuals
Enthusiasm is something that must come from your inner self. The word itself is derived from two Greek words, EN THEOS, which means "God within you” What a beautiful thought! But, the definition vividly illustrated that the responsibility rests squarely with us.
No other person can generate enthusiasm for us. Others may inspire us; that’s why we study the lives of great people, read motivational articles and books and listen to and watch inspirational audio and videocassettes. But permanent, sustained powerful enthusiasm comes only from within.
The emotions are not always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action (mental or physical). Furthermore, repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, when repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.
That’s why I use self-motivations, affirmations, self-commands, autosuggestion, platitudes or any other symbol that can be used deliberately to move myself to desirable action. You can use the same method: Here’s how it works: You merely repeat a verbal self-motivator 50 times in the morning-50 times in the night-for a week to ten days to imprint the words indelibly in your memory. The self-motivator will then flash from your subconscious to your conscious mind when you need it.
I have an inventory of self-motivators that have become such a part of me that the response is instantaneous and automatic; For example, to eliminate or neutralize fear-face problems more directly, turn advantages, strive for higher achievement-solve serious problems or control my emotions; I use one of my favorite self-motivators
v You have a problem. That’s good
v With every adversity there is a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.
v What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve with PMA
v Find one good idea that will work and work with that one good idea
v Do it now!!
v To be enthusiastic…ACT enthusiastic
Professionals in fields that depend upon their ability to influence others-ministers, salespeople, sales mangers, lawyers, public speakers and teachers have learned that to generate excitement in others, they need deeply rooted personal enthusiasm. Here are a few practical suggestions, mentioned previously in this column, to help you keep your own inner fires burning brightly.
1. Talk Loudly-This helps neutralize fear…if you are shaking inside when you stand before an audience.if you have butterflies in your stomach
2. Speak Rapidly-Your mind works faster than your speech. This will help you keep and stay focused
3. Emphasize-Make key words stand out to your audience. Words like “you” are especially important. We all want to know how an idea affects us personally
4. Pause-As you speak rapidly, pause for emphasis where there would bee a period or comma in the written word. Use the dramatic effect of silence to underscore a point and allow your audience to catch up with you.
5. Keep a Smile In Your Voice- Put a smile in your voice by putting a smile on your face. When you smile, it shows in your voice. This is especially important when talking on the phone or speaking to large groups where many can only hear-not see-you.
6. Modulate-Don’t allow your tone of voice to become monotonous, especially when speaking for a long time. You can modulate both the pitch and volume. Varying the tone and speed and pitch of your voice helps keep your audience interested.
Remember “enthusiasm” and “enthusiastic” are not the same. “Enthusiasm” is from within-it is your own Positive Mental Attitude ..An internal impelling forced of intense
Emotion-a power compelling creation or expression and always implies an objective or cause that’s to be pursued with devotion. “Enthusiastic” on the other hand, is an impelling external expression of …action. Thus the person who acts enthusiastic magnifies the power of suggestion and self-suggestion. The person who acts enthusiastic develops sincere, genuine enthusiasm.
PMA is the right mental attitude for each specific occasion. It is not the naïve belief that if one only looks on the bright side, everything will work out right. PMA is evaluating the situation, and then choosing a course of action that will bring about the desired results. It is the right attitude under the circumstances.
When you have the right mental attitude a Positive Mental Attitude –it will manifest itself in many ways that will help you achieve success personally and professionally. One of the most important, the very little difference that makes the very big difference, is-ENTHUSIASM-a vital ingredient for success-for achieving your goals-doing something that should be done-or for influencing or persuading groups of individuals
Enthusiasm is something that must come from your inner self. The word itself is derived from two Greek words, EN THEOS, which means "God within you” What a beautiful thought! But, the definition vividly illustrated that the responsibility rests squarely with us.
No other person can generate enthusiasm for us. Others may inspire us; that’s why we study the lives of great people, read motivational articles and books and listen to and watch inspirational audio and videocassettes. But permanent, sustained powerful enthusiasm comes only from within.
The emotions are not always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action (mental or physical). Furthermore, repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, when repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.
That’s why I use self-motivations, affirmations, self-commands, autosuggestion, platitudes or any other symbol that can be used deliberately to move myself to desirable action. You can use the same method: Here’s how it works: You merely repeat a verbal self-motivator 50 times in the morning-50 times in the night-for a week to ten days to imprint the words indelibly in your memory. The self-motivator will then flash from your subconscious to your conscious mind when you need it.
I have an inventory of self-motivators that have become such a part of me that the response is instantaneous and automatic; For example, to eliminate or neutralize fear-face problems more directly, turn advantages, strive for higher achievement-solve serious problems or control my emotions; I use one of my favorite self-motivators
v You have a problem. That’s good
v With every adversity there is a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.
v What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve with PMA
v Find one good idea that will work and work with that one good idea
v Do it now!!
v To be enthusiastic…ACT enthusiastic
Professionals in fields that depend upon their ability to influence others-ministers, salespeople, sales mangers, lawyers, public speakers and teachers have learned that to generate excitement in others, they need deeply rooted personal enthusiasm. Here are a few practical suggestions, mentioned previously in this column, to help you keep your own inner fires burning brightly.
1. Talk Loudly-This helps neutralize fear…if you are shaking inside when you stand before an audience.if you have butterflies in your stomach
2. Speak Rapidly-Your mind works faster than your speech. This will help you keep and stay focused
3. Emphasize-Make key words stand out to your audience. Words like “you” are especially important. We all want to know how an idea affects us personally
4. Pause-As you speak rapidly, pause for emphasis where there would bee a period or comma in the written word. Use the dramatic effect of silence to underscore a point and allow your audience to catch up with you.
5. Keep a Smile In Your Voice- Put a smile in your voice by putting a smile on your face. When you smile, it shows in your voice. This is especially important when talking on the phone or speaking to large groups where many can only hear-not see-you.
6. Modulate-Don’t allow your tone of voice to become monotonous, especially when speaking for a long time. You can modulate both the pitch and volume. Varying the tone and speed and pitch of your voice helps keep your audience interested.
Remember “enthusiasm” and “enthusiastic” are not the same. “Enthusiasm” is from within-it is your own Positive Mental Attitude ..An internal impelling forced of intense
Emotion-a power compelling creation or expression and always implies an objective or cause that’s to be pursued with devotion. “Enthusiastic” on the other hand, is an impelling external expression of …action. Thus the person who acts enthusiastic magnifies the power of suggestion and self-suggestion. The person who acts enthusiastic develops sincere, genuine enthusiasm.
REMEMBER: THE LITTLE DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES THE BIG DIFFERENCE IS
ATTITUDE
And with the right mental attitude, the very little difference that truly makes the big difference is ….ENTHUSIASM.
Wisdom of the Ages
If you gathered 100 experienced managers together and asked for their advice, they probably wouldn’t say much about “competing values models” or “temporal rhythms.” Instead, this is a good idea of what you would hear:
Don’t be afraid of the phrase, “I don’t know.” If you do not know the answer, don’t try to bluff. If you are at fault, take the blame. If you are wrong, apologize. A wise person once said, “If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember anything.”
Never Gossip. If someone wants to gossip with you, politely say you’re not interested. This corporate adage rings true: When someone gossips, two careers are hurt, the person being talked about and the person doing the talking.
No Task is Beneath You. Don’t think you are above anything. Be the good example and pitch in, especially if the job is one that nobody wants to do.
Share The Credit Whenever Possible. Managers who spread credit around look much stronger than those who take all the credit themselves.
Ask For Help. If you think you are n over your head, you are. Before it gets out of hand, ask someone for help. Besides saving yourself from embarrassment, you will make a friend and ally.
Keep Your Salary to Yourself. Discussing salary is a now win proposition. Either you will be upset because someone is making more than you, or someone will be upset with you.
When You Do Not Like Someone, Don’t Let It Show. Especially if you outrank them. Never burn bridges or offend others as you move ahead.
Let It Go. What shouldn’t happen often does. You weren’t given the project you wanted, you were passed over for the promotion you deserved. Be gracious and diplomatic, and move on. Harboring a grudge won’t advance your career.
When You’re Right, Don’t Gloat. The only time you should ever use the phrase “I told you so” is if someone says to you: “You were right. I really could succeed at that project.”
Don’t be afraid of the phrase, “I don’t know.” If you do not know the answer, don’t try to bluff. If you are at fault, take the blame. If you are wrong, apologize. A wise person once said, “If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember anything.”
Never Gossip. If someone wants to gossip with you, politely say you’re not interested. This corporate adage rings true: When someone gossips, two careers are hurt, the person being talked about and the person doing the talking.
No Task is Beneath You. Don’t think you are above anything. Be the good example and pitch in, especially if the job is one that nobody wants to do.
Share The Credit Whenever Possible. Managers who spread credit around look much stronger than those who take all the credit themselves.
Ask For Help. If you think you are n over your head, you are. Before it gets out of hand, ask someone for help. Besides saving yourself from embarrassment, you will make a friend and ally.
Keep Your Salary to Yourself. Discussing salary is a now win proposition. Either you will be upset because someone is making more than you, or someone will be upset with you.
When You Do Not Like Someone, Don’t Let It Show. Especially if you outrank them. Never burn bridges or offend others as you move ahead.
Let It Go. What shouldn’t happen often does. You weren’t given the project you wanted, you were passed over for the promotion you deserved. Be gracious and diplomatic, and move on. Harboring a grudge won’t advance your career.
When You’re Right, Don’t Gloat. The only time you should ever use the phrase “I told you so” is if someone says to you: “You were right. I really could succeed at that project.”
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